Recently I had a chance to sit down with a friend and talk about her birth experience with her last child, which just so happened to be her 16th... that's right, 16 kids. It also happened to be her 11th C-section. I went to the hospital and saw her the day after.
This woman is my inspiration. I keep running into naysayers. "You're only supposed to have 3 sections at the most." etc.
Funny enough, these people (men and women alike) have never had a section themselves, nor have the men's wives had them. Ignorance people. Ignorance.
Ironically even some women who have had sections, and have done research (and I use that term very loosely) are ignorant.
I know someone who was angry about her birth experience (get over it lady, you have a healthy baby) that liked to spew her "research" at first time mothers who were about to have a section. She would say things like, "They took her baby (one of the woman's friends) to the NICU, and that just reinforces that they take c/s babies because we failed as mothers on the most basic level." Oh boy. For the record, my children weren't taken from me. Not ever. They stayed in the room with me 24/7. That comment is just the tip of the iceberg. She also said something about c-sections being on the rise and it's causing _____ & ______ She didn't like me much when I told her, her claims were unfounded in most cases. I shouldn't have had to tell this woman that the mortality rate for infants and mothers alike has dropped significantly because of these "Oh so horrid" sections.
In most cases of a death back in the day, the mother wasn't able to deliver the baby because their bodies couldn't handle it. My body couldn't. I would be dead, my oldest daughter would be dead & my other 2 children would have never been born if it weren't for a c-section. My husband would have been a widower at the ripe old age of 23 & one year into our marriage.
Most people have a bad attitude towards c-sections, and it's because of people like this woman, and the "research" that these terribly ignorant people find.
If you haven't had one, you don't know ANYTHING (research on this matter will get you nowhere because there are too many people trying to turn it into something negative) So shut your traps. And if you have had one, and didn't like your experience, still... keep your traps shut. You can give advice, but some women literally just sit there and give every worse case scenario in the book, and scare all these first time mothers. So they go in scared out of their minds & it makes their experiences pretty awful (just because of attitude, not because of anything happening.)
I really feel like I need to advocate sections here. It enrages me to see all the negative comments on this issue.
In truth, the aren't any more dangerous than a natural birth.
So back to my friend... she had her 16th child, 11th section & a day later was all smiles. I truly respect this woman & all of her sections give me hope that I will be able to have the large family I have always wanted (not 16 kids, more like 5)
All of my sections were AMAZING experiences, even the emergency section with Emma. I truly would go back and do it that way all over again. I got 3 beautiful, healthy babies from these sections. Couldn't really ask for any more than that.
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I was able to have a VBAC, but now that I've done both and had time to ponder on it, I really don't get all the hullabaloo about C-sections. In fact, I found mine much easier than my VBAC. I had a very rough recovery from my vaginal birth -- it was traumatizing! Granted, I didn't have an EASY vaginal birth (posterior baby, gotta love that) but in comparison, my C-section was a walk in the park. I'm glad I was able to have a VBAC solely for the fact I can say I've done both and feel like I have a well-formed opinion on the matter.
ReplyDeleteI hate when women say you didn't really give birth if you didn't push your baby out. Are you kidding me? That's just hurtful and uncalled for. Goes hand in hand with the superiority complex some breastfeeding mothers have. Really, it doesn't matter how your kid gets here. And if you feel so passionately about "natural" birth vs. C-section or whatever, keep it to yourself. Mothers don't need any additional reasons to feel guilty.
EXACTLY!!!! Jenna I <3 you!
ReplyDeleteAmen, I haven't had one but if i have to then at lest we have a chance.
ReplyDeleteWow Crystal~
ReplyDeleteThose are some strong words you have here...and in your post before too. I am truly sorry if anyone made you feel inferior or exaggerated how bad C-sections are! But I just have to say that most people who advocate natural birth aren't out to make you feel bad or be superior in any way to moms who have c-sections! I love childbirth. I'm SO glad we have c-sections for those situations where things don't go as planned. There is a time and a place for both...and I think that anyone who has truly done the research knows this. Yes, you certainly DID give birth just the same as any other mama there!
But, keeping that in mind...c-sections are MAJOR abdominal surgery and they do carry more risks than a low risk vaginal birth (there are statistics out there I can send you if you want...I don't think you do though, I think what you want is to not be judged for your births...but I also hope I don't offend you by inferring this!). You are my friend and I respect you, and I definitely DON'T judge you in any way. :-)